I have a confession: when I listen to Brand New, I sometimes wonder if they're not my other half. And I don't mean romantically; it's their lyrics that are so much like my own thoughts.
Thus, Mez is sometimes a vain freak who puts way too much time and faith and thinking in a band whom she'll never meet much less know.
And please, tell me if I used "whom" in the wrong place.
God is good. I am deathly small. But He has taken the penalty for me. He is the correctness of us. I am small, He is big. In the past few weeks...or even days, I have been basically asked to get outside of myself for my friends, family, future, and Best Friend. I mean, the things my best friends (the sinful ones) ask of me are exactly what I feel that I can't do and what I would not do on a normal basis because I feel I can't do. It's all stuff I run away from because I struggle with them. Like being confident in myself and in Christ, sure that the things I'm saying are correct and true.
"It will be alright."
Self-esteem has never been big on my list of "Latest Improvements." I realise we don't get to a point and then end the discipling and learning because we've reached perfection. I know we will always struggle with the same sins, as well as new ones.
And, for the first time I can remember, I am okay. I am, in fact, completely joyful in Him and His greatness. I am too small. I am way too weak. I can't be what my friends and family need. I can't even pack for college yet (as if I've never packed before..hah). I can do nothing outside of my strength.
2 Corinthians 12:9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

John 15:1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.